Conflict between parents increases stress for children.
The 2 years following separation of parents are a particularly critical window, as well as an opportunity, for parents to act constructively to minimize the risk that divorce will have detrimental effects on their children.
Dr. Peary provides parents the tools to:
restructure their parent-to-parent relationship,
reduce conflict, and
to enhance their communication
in the aftermath of divorce.
What are parenting services?
Parenting Coordination, Coaching, Co-Parenting Education and Support, and Mediation with the goal of providing hope for a family’s new future and a home life that is nourishing and protected for children and parents.
Parents in the process of separation or divorce can be referred by their attorneys, by a judge after a custody trial, by a custody evaluator, or can make an appointment with me directly. When parents are court ordered for parenting coordination, a court order, or consent order, specifies the scope of my role. When parents see me voluntarily, I decide with the parents, often with input from their attorneys, what my role will be in working with them.
As a Parenting Coordinator, and as a Collaborative Coach, I focus on helping clients make decisions together about their children, and in some cases, help them develop parenting plans and time sharing schedules that will work for everyone. Parenting plans can include agreements about holidays, summers, make-up time, and any other issues that are relevant to a particular family. Parents are able to review various models of time sharing with me, and have the opportunity to discuss the needs of their particular children. Parenting plans take into account the ages of the children, their temperaments, and the various needs of each parent and the family as a whole.
Parenting services are for parents who are:
- I’m not sure how to do it all alone.
- I don’t believe my former partner is capable of parenting well without me.
- I don’t believe I am capable of parenting well without my former partner.
- I don’t want a judge deciding when I can see my children and the process of custody.
- My children and I have lost our home.
- I need to create a new home for myself and my children.
- Holidays won’t be the same.
- Will I not be a real mom/dad anymore because I don’t live with my children all of the time?
- Will I lose my religious, ethnic, or socioeconomic influence on my children?
- Will my child have the same educational opportunities?
Have the challenges of
- Being afraid to discipline or say no.
- Feeling afraid of being loved less by the children.
- Feeling financially strapped and unsure how to meet the needs of the children full time for ½ of the time.
- Feeling afraid of losing touch with the children.
- Mourning the loss of the family unit.
- Not wanting to be judged by others for parenting choices.
- Fearing the influence of an ex’s new partner.
- Needing time for self-care.
- Needing time alone to develop work life and a new social life.
- Feeling lonely on weeks without the children.
- Feeling jealous or resentful of a former partner.
- Feeling disempowered legally, emotionally, and/or financially.
- Feeling a limited sense of self-efficacy to create a new healthy life for myself and the children.
- To minimize the damage from divorce to the children.
- Not to use children as weapons against a former partner.
- To learn how to be or continue to be a good parent in a new, non-married context.
- To learn how to have quality time with children amidst challenging schedules, financial constraints, and time constraints.
- To regain a sense of family, home, and a new normal life for myself and the children.
- Predictability of child care arrangements.
- Emotionally healthy parents and children.
- Confidence in parenting.
- Confidence in the well-being of the children.
- Ways to stay connected to the children when I don’t have custody.
- To know how to mutually agree upon custody accommodations without being taken advantage of.
- To be able to communicate effectively, efficiently, and respectfully with the other parent, other parent’s new partner, or other parent’s extended family.
If you are…
- married parents transitioning to being single parents
- parents who are new to active parenting
- parents of merging families
and you would like to…
- Find ways to work around a rigid schedule yet still have certainty, trust, and consistency
- Get to a new normal life
- Have both quality time with the children and necessary time alone to rebuild your life
- Create a new sense of home and family
- Have solutions for as much financial security as possible
- Have parents be knowledgeable about the developmental trajectory of each family member, developmental milestones, and warning signs of problems in adapting
- Seek private out of court solutions to parenting conflicts
…then parenting services
are for YOU!
The Parenting Services Process
Parenting services help parents have greater peace of mind regarding their children and to build a new life sooner.
We will examine the needs of your children during transitions and identify your needs.
We will then figure out areas of agreement with the other parent and negotiate areas of disagreement.
In our parenting sessions, I will engage in:
- creative problem-solving and scheduling
- peaceful and constructive communication with other the parent
- healthy child custody planning with an awareness of likely legal outcomes if there is a failure to agree.
I will use my expertise as a family psychologist and former family lawyer to offer you compassionate and nonjudgmental parenting education and shared parent planning ideas, along with insights into future issues that are likely to arise.
At our first session, we will:
- identify the issues you face as parents
- prioritize those issues
By the end of the program, you will receive:
- a custody agreement or suggestions for a custody agreement
- parenting education
- a communication template for use with the other parent for times when a change is needed
- resources to help you figure out the best interests of the children
- exercises to undertake with the children and yourself to heal from the divorce process
Your mediation program will consist of 5 sessions to mediate a custody agreement or to assist you in creating a new parental life.
Because each parenting situation is different, I create a customized parental services agenda for each set of parents.
*custom program details will be outlined at your Get A Handle On It! Session.