Who am I?

The divorce process can wreak emotional havoc in our lives.

Our emotions and the pain that accompany them may feel devastating. Our formerly keen problem-solving processes are challenged and our sense of balance may have completely evaporated. Clients often tell me “I’m not sure who I am anymore!” It becomes difficult to even talk about ourselves as we struggle with making the switch from “we” to “I.” The more committed we were to the marriage, the more difficult accepting the change in identity brought about by divorce may be.It is very common to re-examine our personal, professional, gender, and family identity. If our self-esteem has taken a hit during our marital and divorce struggles, reexamining our sense of self can be frightening. While not easy, following the urge to re-examine what we thought were constants in our life provides us with the opportunity for growth. While it may seem impossible in the early days during and following divorce, we will recover, build new lives, and create new authentic identities. Our new identities may seem more like our very own than the identities we held while

It is very common to re-examine our personal, professional, gender, and family identity when going through a break-up. If our self-esteem has taken a hit during our marital and divorce struggles, reexamining our sense of self will feel frightening. While not easy, following the urge to re-examine what we thought were constants in our life provides us with the opportunity for growth.

While it may seem impossible in the early days, during and following divorce, we will recover, build new lives, and create new authentic identities.

Our new identities may seem more like our very own than the identities we held while married.

Following the urge to re-examine what we thought were constants in our life will provide us with the opportunity for growth. Recovery may seem impossible in the early days following separation. The truth is: we will recover, build new lives, and create new authentic identities. Our new identities may even seem more like our very own than the identities we held while married, when much of who we felt we were included the identity of our former spouse.

Your breakup is not an end. It is, in fact, the beginning of a new stage in your life.

Journal to Reconnect with You

Think about your identity and journal your responses.

Describe your identity and how you saw yourself:

  • before you were married
  • during your marriage when times were good
  •  during your marriage when things were not so good.

Describe who you are now and how you see yourself today.

How do you want to see yourself after you have completed the divorce recovery process?

Is your ideal self the self you envision being after you have completed the divorce recovery process?

Hold yourself tight and feel grateful for being who you are!