Consistency Between CoParent Homes Gives Children a Stable Foundation

 

This is the first in my series of  60 Simple Things You Can Do to Spare Your Children Harm From Divorce.  Consistency between coparent homes, like many of the items on this list that protect children, do so doubly because the items, here creating consistency between homes, also serves to minimize conflict between co-parents.

 

Consistency between coparents' homes provides a solid base for children of divorce to  grow and adjust. When there is consistency between homes, children can better predict the consequences for their choices and the parent's approval. To make adapting easier for children, you and the other parent can create consistent rules, bedtimes, homework processes, expectations regarding grades, and school standards, limits on technology, similar curfews between homes, rules about when a child can skip dance or soccer practice or other extracurricular activity, how many sleepovers each can have in a week etc..Make and stick to your list of rules regarding these specifics. It is not only helpful for children but makes parenting easier for co-parents who sometimes otherwise feel that they are bieng undermined by the other coparent or that they always have to look like the tough or the easy parent.  Consistency between homes helps coparents to feel as though they are together on the child's team.

 

For the other 59,

 

Protecting your children from the emotional harm caused by divorce can seem impossible. Yet the harm to children doesn’t arise from divorce itself, but from high conflict between parents.  

 

Psychologist and former family lawyer Dr. Jodi Peary specializes in helping divorced parents restructure their relationship with each other, deepen their relationship with their children, and get in touch with their authentic selves again — all critical steps to minimizing damage from divorce.

 

Her Enlightened Co-Parenting method helps parents build a healthy co-parenting foundation that makes working with an ex to raise happy, healthy children seem intuitive, rather than impossible.