In The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma ,
Bessel Van der Kolk describes the way imagination is an important ingredient in the recipe for healing from trauma:

“Imagination gives us the opportunity to envision new possibilities” 

After experiencing trauma, fragments of original memory need to be re-­‐integrated through narrative, either verbal or nonverbal. In creating narrative, we make meaning, which is powerful step in trauma recovery.

To be a coping and healing process, making meaning from our traumatic experiences must involve more than the way we mentally construct our thinking and the way we are evaluating “things” or developing an understanding of the way the world works: it is also about the meaning of relationships in one’s life. This element is particularly important to heal from trauma that involves betrayal.

Questions like, “why me?” “why now?” “What can I learn from the event?” are examples of the process undertaken in the search

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QUESTION:

Sally's Questions: Our family has a lot of trauma with divorce, broken promises and relationship issues. There are also abandonment issues. This involves my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and other family members. Everyone has contributed to the trauma in some way.

 I want to move past the trauma and let go of this pain.

 I’m tired of letting the past weigh me down all the time. I’m tired of being controlled by what they did. I also feel unsafe. I worry all the time. I am scared to try new things or start relationships.

 How do I learn to let go of the family trauma?

Everyone keeps telling me I can’t heal without forgiveness. They’re convinced I have to forgive my family for the trauma. I feel like I have done this, but I won’t let certain family members back into my life.

Despite forgiveness, I still don’t trust them.

What can I do to balance forgiveness with trust?

ANSWER:

Sally, awareness is the first step to healing after trauma.

It sounds ...