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A Mother's Memories

He is 26 now. She still sees him when he was 4, picking tomatoes as soon as they turned red in the garden.

Taking a big bite as if into an apple. The big smile that came afterward.

She started him early in first grade. She will come back to this, blame herself for wanting him busy. Was this the decision that snowballed into his later addiction? An unanswerable question she poses to herself weekly, sometimes daily.

She sees him jumping on the beige fabric sofa with the bleached wood frame at six. She had just come home with a new baby, a little sister. He was so excited and so he jumped and jumped. She tried calling to him to stop the jumping. Warning him he would be hurt. One morning she heard the jumping and then the thud. He had fallen.  He had been hurt. He broke a toe. His spirit remained intact.

Until it didn't. He became addicted to drugs. The glass sharp memories. Visiting him in "Juvy," then visiting  him in "county", then in the "state pen". He wasn't a bad kid....

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Tips and Strategies for Peaceful Parenting during COVID-19

Tips and Strategies for Peaceful Parenting during COVID-19

I want to share with you a few tips to manage the combined challenges of raising children, social distancing, and social isolation.   
Tips and Useful Strategies

Lighten up on demands.

Part of raising kids is to teach healthy habits and values.  In doing so, we make reasonable demands upon them. These habits and values are important but now may be a time to ease up a bit. I hear you if you are saying to yourself that if you do not stay strict, your child will become a slacker who sits around all day. Consider balancing that concern with the value or priority of managing isolation and maintaining harmony in circumstances that can be difficult for everyone staying at home.

Manage your own stress.

First, to maintain your own sanity. Also, stress of a parent often gets passed on to the child and makes everyone a bit more on edge and reactive than they otherwise might be. Carve out time for...

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Deciphering the Heartbreaking Words of Angry Kids


A  note I received from a mom devastated by the news that her child said he wanted to live with his dad:

I am also very concerned that my son now wants to live with his dad. He hasn’t been very nice to me .......His dad won’t talk to me and I have given up trying. That would change everything. Each day just seems to be getting worse for me. 

We discuss this hurtful situation in Module 1 of the Enlightened CoParenting Course.

Here is an excerpt from the course:

When your child throws a temper tantrum, becomes angry, and blames you for ruining their life don’t take their behavior personally.

Realize that in many instances when children blame one parent or another for the divorce occurring their blaming is a way of coping and a defense against feeling overwhelmed by the many changes they are experiencing in the course of a short period.  It is often not meant against the parent...

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The #1 Way To Set Up Your Child For Success

As parents, there are a few things that we all want our children to feel…






But for parents considering, going through, or who have already divorced, sometimes it feels that your family won’t be able to emerge happy and whole.  


As a psychologist and former family law attorney, I have spent two decades working with individuals and families to help them emerge from divorce with happiness and confidence.


And now I want to give away that knowledge inside this FREE guide:


Promoting Positive Self-Esteem In Children


Helping parents everywhere raise happy, healthy and confident children, in this guide you will discover:


How self-esteem plays a role in childhood 

How their self-esteem influences their choices and relationships later in life

A comprehensive strategy including 8 Steps you should take to help your child develop positive self-esteem

Examples of situations and...

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What Divorce Looks Like To A Divorce Psychologist

I have been a divorce coach and family psychologist for over a decade.  Before that, I was a divorce lawyer. I have also gone through divorce myself.  As such, I have had a rather intimate view of what divorce entails. 

While I knew many of the effects and challenges of divorce and single parenting before I divorced, being divorced made these experiences real in a way that changed what they meant for me and brought to life many aspects that I could not have known as a divorce lawyer.

The divorce terrain is tumultuous. Knowledge of the divorce process is not enough to guide a client through divorce.  To guide someone through divorce, one must have empathy and creativity as well as being non-judgemental.  I prepare my clients both for what typically occurs and for some heart-pounding surprises. I also prepare them for the task of solving problems in new ways, leaving them with a valuable skill that they will utilize in many different contexts over their...

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