How do I stay strong for my kids during and after divorce?

As a psychologist who specializes in helping parents through divorce, I know deep down in my soul the extent to which watching your children experience divorce is painful and one of the most challenging areas of getting through divorce.

The thing about resilience in children is that divorce alone doesn't mean that children are going to have a difficult future or that they're not going to be emotionally unhealthy. It doesn't mean that at all. What is harmful to children is conflict between parents and feelings of stress and instability.  Those are areas we can draw our attention to and make a difference in order to support our children. The things that mean the most for our children's well-being are actually within our control. That is a good thing.

Taking steps to help our children also helps us to move forward.

Gabriella, a newly divorced mom of 4 said,  "I'll survive this, but what have I done to their life?"  We can cont...

COPARENTING TECHNIQUES: SHOWING  AFFECTION  & MAINTAINING CONNECTION WITH YOUR Toddler

Enlightened CoParenting™ emphasizes emotional connection with your child, regardless of whether or not they are with you or their coparent. No need to wait for your parenting time or a special occasion to show affection to your toddler. Maintaining that heart to heart connection with them, helps both of you through periods of separation from each other. 

This checklist offers a way to offer loving actions to your child each day, electronically or by phone when you are apart and physically when you are together.

I am joined by other psychologists and specifically developmental psychologists in suggesting these heart centered techniques.

1. Perform a simple, personalized ritual at the beginning and end of parenting times. For example: morning hug after waking up, daddy/mommy dance when child returns from time with other parent, or sing song you made up together at each bath time etc.

2. Engage in mindful...