Love and connection are universal psychological needs.

The ability to express emotions surrounding these needs is one of the most important ingredients in healthy intimate relationships.

We must remind each other in the midst of our incredibly busy lives, as well as remind ourselves, that we need the visceral experience of really feeling love and connection. We want to feel it fill us.

Since the needs for love and connection are universal, it can be difficult to understand why asking for love and connection may be met with signs of bewilderment by your partner. Does your partner stop and ask you, even more, do you stop and ask yourself what you need, specifically, to actually feel loved and connected. The request for love and connection is a broad request for two complex and overarching needs.

Trina: 'Why do you go out to dinner with your brother and his girlfriend whenever I am out of town but never want to get together with them when I can come along as well?"

Tom: "I go

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Healthy relationships foster intimacy.  Care, validation, and understanding in relationships foster intimacy.  Intimacy in relationships fosters happiness and well-being and can shield against stress. 

Couple Therapy

When couples have increased conflict without closeness they may go to couple therapy where goals often include:

decreased labeling of one of two sides as the problem

increased flexibility in the relationship

enhanced adaptation to arising change

reduction of symptomatic behavior

enhanced tolerance of situations the couple can not change.

Individual Therapy for Trust Issues

Couples don't always have the luxury of working together. Also, the work of healing often begins with one party taking steps individually to increase their well-being. Working individually is also undertaken when one senses difficulties in one's relationships overall, including friend and other relative relationships, as well as when a relationship has already ended and the individual wants ...

A psychoanalytic investigation is a complex and nuanced journey into one's delicate heart.-Galit Atlas, PhD

One reason people come to therapy is to get to know the truth of who they are. A next step is to live from that truth on a daily basis, not only during extraordinary circumstances.

Below are some questions to ask yourself as you continue on your self-awareness journey.

4 Questions to Ask Yourself As You Begin

Your Self-Awareness Journey

How do I handle strong emotions?

Our body signals similar sensations for both anticipation and anxiety, as well as passion and frustration. However, our mindset plays a crucial role in determining how we respond to these sensations. We have the power to generate momentum for positive change or get caught up in a mental loop. It all depends on how we choose to respond. 

Stress arises from many different kinds of situations, both good and bad life events and transitions trigger stress. We can learn a lot about ourselves from looking more ...

A sincere apology can contribute to the healing of a ruptured relationship. However, "I'M SORRY" alone won't have the healing power that an apology that shows care and respect would.

If you regret something you did, and we all do things that we later regret and wish we could adequately apologize, take the time to do it right.

 

Step 1: REFLECT ON YOUR ACTIONS

Ask yourself how your actions contributed to an injury or problem. Try to objectively view the role you played even if you were not the sole cause of the hurt or damage.

Step 2: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

Taking responsibility involves owning up to your actions in addition to saying  “I’m sorry” or another phrase expressing your regret. Make sure you are clear and direct communicating the specific actions you are apologizing for.

Step 3: LISTEN AND IMPROVE

Listening and improving means actively listening. Give the person the opportunity to respond to you without interruption.  Focus on their comm...

Attachment Styles:

the way we perceive and respond to intimacy in relationships.

Attachment styles were first described in the psychological theory known as Attachment Theory.

What is Attachment Theory?

Attachment theory was formulated by the psychoanalyst John Bowlby.

Infant Attachment is a psychological term that refers to the emotional bond that emerges during the first year of life between an infant and one or a few significant adult caregivers.

The emotional bond between the infant and their primary caretaker contributes to the infant forming a feeling of security or trust in themselves.

Attachment by the infant is secure or insecure.

When an infant has a secure attachment  with their caregiver, the child seeks to be close to that person when they feel tense or anxious. When an infant has an insecure relationship with their primary caretaker, feeling tense or anxious leads to them avoiding the caretaker or experiencing conflict between approaching and avoiding their ca...