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Love Yourself For Doing the Work

I have asked many of my clients to trust that all of the work they are doing is opening up more choices for them to live their best lives.

Our brains and nervous system are comprised of neurons. The connections between neurons are strengthened or eliminated based upon the patterns and experiences that make up our lives. During times of significant intentional change our brain is reengaged in a way that opens up new connections.

Neuroplasticity refers to your  brain's ability to change and adapt with experience. Your brain has the ability to change structurally, to change, reorganize, and grow new neural networks as you practice new ways of thinking and new behaviors.Your brain never stops changing in response to your learning. 

If you have become mindful of the way past adaptive behaviors may no longer be serving you and you have replaced those thoughts and behaviors with new ways of thinking and behaving that fit the environment you are living in right now and facilitate...

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If This Were the First Day of Your Journey to Be Free


Working with individuals recovering from divorce, I help them to see the landscape from differing perspectives. When one has experienced the lifequake that is divorce, there are many directions and layers of planning, goals, values, and understanding that await.

Break Up to Brilliance is a program to help women emerge from divorce happy, whole, and full of hope.


We begin with finding peace and contentment in alone time. No small task. It does take time. But, when you arrive at that soft sanctuary of your self and you can feel you can always return there, you experience a degree of freedom that isn't available in the world that is dominated by a fear of loneliness. 

 When we learn to enjoy our alone time, we learn that there is a comforting refuge to return to regardless of the cacophony and rumbling of the outside world. There is tremendous freedom in that knowledge.

In our peaceful alone time, we are free from the damaging thoughts that we must be something or...

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Who Put That Idea In Your Head?


I asked, "If your life could be and include anything at all that you wanted it to be and include, no obstacles in the way, what would that be like?

Madeleine responded to my question, "The last time I shared my dream life with Darron (Madeleine's former partner) said 'Who put that crazy idea in your head?" and I felt foolish for even thinking I could have the kind of life I pictured."

Wow. Words can be so powerful that they they obliterate our agency to dream. 

We went on to discuss how Madeleine's family also discounted her ideas and intelligence.  A woman who worked with her hands making jewelry in a family of nurses and doctors, Madeleine felt she wasn't the thoughtful or brainy type. 

Madeleine accepted her family and Darron's opinions of her as truth. As she realized that what she had accepted turned out to be false, she realized it would take time and mindfulness to undue the automatic thinking that aligned with their unfounded opinions.

Has anybody ever...

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Don't Let Divorce Hold Your Best Self Back

Divorce devastates, not everything, but many, many precious things.

Divorce gives us, leaves us, with a long sad story.  A story that initially feels like the greasy  scraps from an overcooked marriage.

Never Again.

“Never again” we tell ourselves.

As if we could ever trust ourselves after the mess we had just lived through.

We don’t know how to trust our self again, and that mistrust of self creates more pain and loneliness than not being able to trust another soul again.

We believe there is only one way to make sure that “Never again” is true and that is to hold that divorce story front and center, like a dangerous curve warning sign, for which we continually slam on the brakes and proceed slowly and cynically with life. We lead with suspicion, even congratulating ourselves for our trepidation and our commitment to “Never Again.”

We must come to trust that we have learned from our divorce experience, or we will forever peer at...

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Many say," I don't remember who I am" as a marriage is coming to an end . We may have been silenced. We may have silenced ourselves.

 Giving voice to our experiences is one step toward healing. Expressing ourselves in writing to connect with who we are at our core.

 What pours from our mind down, past our heart, down our arm onto the paper is something that needs to be shared; it contains a truth, you will become reacquainted with yourself.  If you can't think of what to write about, just starting with, "I remember when...."

Something from five years ago one day, something from yesterday the next, something from childhood, all of these different experiences, not editing them, allowing them to pour out.

There are going to be threads of truth.

A map back toward yourself.

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How Divorce Can Sky Rocket Your Trust in the Universe

Divorce teaches us how to live differently.
 Not completely but usually our life and the way we move within it will be in significantly different ways.
 Divorce is a teacher for many of us.  But thriving through and after the transition is not rooted in "should have" or "wish I would have."
Research shows that when women take a good hard look at their lives post divorce and  notice that not only did they make it but they are thriving after divorce they gain an overall sense of security.
Brenda said, "Well, it ended up being a time...you know because he would get the girls every other weekend, all of the sudden, I have free time.”
Brenda hadn't wanted free time. Free time meant loneliness and pain. Brenda wanted her time alone to pass and the horrible pain she was having to go away.
Time did pass as it always does, but it felt like it did so very slowly until one particular day when her daughters were with their...
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How to tell the difference between obsession and a commitment to love.

Mindy and Mark split up 3 months earlier. Mark moved out of their shared apartment and into his own place about 10 miles away at that time. Mindy drove by Mark’s new apartment every night. Sometimes Mark left his  blinds open and
Mindy watched the shadows move around the furniture and light from Mark’s TV.

Sometimes Mark's blinds were closed. This triggered panic in Mindy who presumed Mark had closed the blinds for privacy because he had a woman over. On the blinds shut evenings Mindy drove around the parking lot of Mark’s complex looking for cars that could belong to whomever the mystery woman was upstairs in Mark’s bed with

On one of these surveillance outings, Mark noticed Mindy when he went to get
his brief case from his car.

“What are you doing here?” Mark asked, obviously irritated and insistent about receiving an explanation.

Mindy thought quickly and told Mark that their cat, who now lived with Mindy, was in need of medical...

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What do you remember of the dream that woke you with a start?

Friends! It's time for a series. Time to dive into a topic in depth and share, discuss, learn, create and more about it.  You know my zone ....psychology, relationships, divorce recovery, self-love, emotional healing, transformation.  Throw your questions and topic ideas my way. I want to use this space intentionally and meaningfully. I seek to connect with you, my amazing reader. 

What's been on your mind?

What do you remember of the dream that woke you with a start?

What's the argument you keep having with yourself?

What is the beauty you want to know more of?

What are the connections you seek? 

I am over the moon at the prospect of learning where you want to go next!



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The Key to Experiencing Loss as an Opportunity

How do we release relationships that aren't serving us any longer?

We may never have consciously chosen to divorce or seperate.

We may never have believed our loss would lead to something positive.

Now that the loss occurred, our willingness to acknowledge any growth or resilience we've developed as a consequence of the break up is an important step in healing and forward life movement.

The Key to Experiencing Loss as an Opportunity is to give ourselves permission to experience the loss and heart ache as an opportunity.

It takes courage to experience loss and heart ache as an opportunity. Your brain will scream "NO! DON'T DO IT!" 

Our brain says seeing the positive in this loss is a dangerous move because our brain serves us by trying to protect us.  Yet holding on to the loss is not going to protect us from future loss.  It is actually offering the opposite of protecting us from future loss. It is making us experience the loss again and again in the present, where it...

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By Placing the Past in the Past We Assert that Divorce is Not Failure


We are also working on the premise that even though it's an extremely untapped or repressed capacity in most women, we were created subtly and energetically with unparalleled capacities for transmutation of what may be out of balance or toxic to us. This means that regardless of what we face in life, if we are empowered enough to really understand our inherent energetic capacities as women, we can ALWAYS transform a toxic experience into energy or resource that sustains and strengthens us. And I mean no matter how awful or toxic. Our capacities are unlimited.

Jumana Sophia


Placing the past in the past does not mean we should try to forget about our experiences. That kind of dissociation serves only to deny what we know to be true and causes us to lose trust in ourselves. 

When I refer to placing the past in the past, I am suggesting that we think of divorce as one part of life, but not our entire lives. It is one part of your experience. It is not who you are.


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