To live fully we must commit to truly knowing ourselves. It's not difficult to remain aware of the parts of ourselves we feel good about but that results in knowing a mere fraction of ourselves. Truly knowing ourselves follows our willingness to come to know the parts of ourselves we have stowed deeply away and our commitment to reintegrating those shadow parts into the conscience Self. 

Harnessing our Wholeness

Integrating and accepting our shadow parts into the self is a powerful step toward harnessing our wholeness, an essential stepping stone toward self love and transformational healing.

Deeper self-awareness arises when we shine a light upon our shadow self and courageously observe and account for what and who we find within our depths. 

What Are Our Shadow Qualities?

Shadow qualities are characteristics of ourselves or behaviors that we have come to disown or reject.

 

How do aspects of ourselves become shadow parts?

In childhood, we may have been ignored, b...

When I share that I am a psychologist, I sometimes receive looks comparable to the looks I receive when I declare that I live in Arizona and it is the middle of August. What registers is the heat.

"How are you always so upbeat?"

Always? None of us are always anything, and especially not always upbeat.

Being human means experiencing the full spectrum of experiences and emotions. It is wading in that variability and the return to center that is a sign of well-being.

I am asked how I clear the stories and angst that others share with me.

How do I protect myself from the rage, outrage, and heartbreak that others experience and share with me?

Could I possibly really feel the sun softly settling upon my shoulders as I walk to my car after a long day parsing through darkness?

 
First, it is not all darkness that is shared in my office.

My clients process love and learning.

They share miracles of reunion and of finding peace.

They capture trust for new love and sometimes overflow with...

"Our Purpose is to love and be loved. It is not to prove to others that we are lovable." Megan Watterson

What conditions do others require you meet in order to feel loved?

Did these conditions become the conditions you require you meet in order to feel loved?

 

Do you need to look a certain way to be loved by others? To be loved by yourself?

Must you deny the number of years you have lived in this world?

Must you prove yourself young and innocent?

Is it more attractive to be naive than wise?

Do you need to feel certain emotions to be loved? Will they wrap their arms around the happy girl and ignore the resentful one?

What are the ugly moods? Can feeling them keep you from being loved? By yourself? By others?

What do your children, your job, your neighborhood tell others about how much you deserve love?

Must the landscape of your life be a garden, a field, an industry? 

 

Does your level of leisure tell others the love about which you are deserving? 

Can you love yours

...

Hypnotherapy is a powerful and painless path for creating a life you are in love with living.

The Struggle to Creating Meaningful Change in Our Lives is Real

We need not struggle. We need to intentionally let go of what doesn't serve us and replace it with what does. That in turn enables us to give to the world.  In the deep state of relaxation that is hypnosis we program our own minds to do just that.

The cultural phenomenon of doing everything and nothing with our days.

We start with the best intentions for meaningful change.

We promise to cast aside old habits, deepen our purpose and integrate that purpose into our daily living.

We commit to having a greater impact. 

We deeply yearn for more out of this one beautiful life.

Yet, time and time again distractions and old habits stand in the way.

Over and over, our focus seems to dissolve into the air around us.

If you can relate to this pattern, know this, You are not alone.

 Our culture, our upbringing, the voices ...

The refrain "Love Yourself" chimes over us from so many different directions. Two words that may evoke a sense of bewilderment.

We may ask ourselves, "Really? Just how to go about that?"

The act of loving the self does not feel like something that arises intuitively from within us. This is sad because how to love the self is knowledge we are born with. This knowledge has been long forgotten due to the fact that when we were very young we were taught and learned all too well how to suppress showing love for the self. We were socialized by our parents, family, teachers and society to show love and caring for others and taught that any showing of love to the self was selfish. Choosing to focus on our own well-being was deemed egotistical or even narcissistic. We were shamed for doing the thing most necessary for our well-being.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Dear friend, without all of that prior conditioning you would intuitively know how to love the beautiful self that ...

Celebrate and love yourself for how far you have come. Celebrate both you and every step you have taken to this point on your journey. Celebrate how much you have learned from the things that did and did not go as planned.

How?

Begin with capturing this affirmation as your mantra for today.

Neuroplasticity

By acknowledging your strengths and victories you rewire your brain to accept your capabilities and successes. Your brain changes with your experiences. It creates new neural pathways that are strengthened every time they are repeated. This is called neuroplasticity. The stronger the pathway, the more it shapes what you believe about what you can and cannot do and your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

With conscious awareness and repetition we strengthen new neural pathways.

You can begin today to focus on shifting your patterns of thinking. You can keep this small promise to yourself to stay mindful of your thinking and aware of what you are reinforcing within yourself...

Are you fixated upon progress, perfection, conformity and achievement?  If so, have you thought about the cost of this way life? 

• How often do you experience the feeling of truly enjoying yourself?
• Are you able to laugh at yourself like a good old friend or are you your own worst enemy, endlessly berating yourself? 
• When was the last time you stopped to admire the infinite and transitory wonders of nature?
• You have one life, are you spending it wisely?

If you have deep rooted patterns of perfectionism and other traits of the exceedingly driven, it can help to utilize a framework to foster change.  Today, I seek to open your mind to the framework of Wabi Sabi.

Wabi-Sabi is a way of living.

The Japanese cultivated “wabi-sabi;” 

“Wabi” connotes rustic simplicity, quietness or understated elegance;

“Sabi” means beauty or serenity that comes with age.

There are seven principles for achieving wabi-sabi: 

Fukinsei: asymmetry, irregularity; 
Kanso: simplicity; 
Koko: basic...

Discovering Your Self-Worth Despite Challenging Circumstances

Are you experiencing a struggle? Does it feel like as soon as one struggle is resolved, another arises?

Do you often feel overwhelmed and frustrated ?

Do you wish your life had greater meaning? 

You can enjoy the meaningful life you deserve.

What you know but may be afraid to acknowledge:

Success is available to you despite challenging circumstances.

Your self-worth is not defined by your circumstances.

 What is holding you back?

Take some time today to question the beliefs you hold that limit your potential.

Challenging circumstances can feel like walls that are impossible to climb.

Consider a fresh perspective.

Within you is everything you need to thrive and excel.

The more you question the validity of your limiting beliefs, the more success you'll experience in your life.

Think of a circumstance in your life that you believe is preventing you from something you want. Write it down, then get re...

You may think the terms self-esteem and self-love refer to the same thing .Self-esteem and self-love build on each other but are critically different. Awareness of the way these elements differ provides critical insights. Self esteem and self love influence each other.

 Self-esteem:

Self-esteem refers to our level of feelings of accomplishment, success, and self-respect.  Building self-esteem involves listening to the inner talk inside of ourselves.  That inner talk is tied to our self-esteem and performance. Self-esteem influences inner dialogue which influences performance.

The way we build confidence in our skills and know ourselves to be capable.

Examples of expressions of self-esteem:

"I'm a good mom."

"I'm great at handling the crunch of tax season."

"I'm a a protective dad".

Some people are extremely high functioning and have high self esteem, but they have little self-love.

I practiced law with a colleague who was a mentor of mine.   She was an excellant litigator. I r...