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12 Ways to Build Self-Trust


The opposite of self-trust is self-doubt.

Biological characteristics that we are born with, such as being prone to anxiety, mix with our significant life experiences to to contribute to determining why we may be more self-doubting than trusting or the reverse!

Examples of significant life experiences that may influence the way we see ourselves and the extent to which we trust or doubt ourselves:

Frequent moving

Parents divorce,

Substance abuse in the family,

Exposure to trauma, such as sexual or physical abuse, growing up with a mentally ill parent, or experiencing homelessness, poverty, or abandonment.

Certain experiences
arising in connection with your race, age, economic status, sexual or gender identity, culture, religion, and so forth.

Events need not be dramatic to illicit self doubt.

Your position in a family such as being the only child not to attend college in a family of siblings with graduate degrees or being unpopular with kids at school.

The messages...

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Approval Not-Seeking

Approval seeking and people pleasing are wicked habits.

Inherently you have strength, intelligence, potential and talent. Add to that all that you have cultivated since your earliest days.

Life can be traumatic and wounding and may interfere with our natural ability to feel confident and capable. Sometimes it can feel like we have lost access to our own wisdom.  It can feel like a siren overpowering and drowning out  the quiet voice inside telling us the things we know to be true.

Underneath figuring out how to fit all of life into our new framework of days, our wisdom remains; no one can take it away.

Self-care is much more than a facial or a pedicure (though those are two really lovely examples!).  Self-care at it's truest is saying no to something requested or demanded or expected by others in order to say yes to our own emotional, physical and mental well being.

Self care sits opposite the defense mechanisms of people pleasing and approval seeking.

In self care....

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A Guide for Self Compassion in Mind, Body, Soul, and Relationships


Self Compassion Guide

What Does It Mean to Be Self Compassionate?

Through our thoughts and our behavior we treat ourselves with the same care and kindness as we would someone we love and care for. 

Self Compassion involves listening to our needs, rather than primarily focusing on what others want us to do or what the outside world dictates.

Goal for this Self-Compassion Exercise

Become aware of how you show yourself compassion and use this as a starting point for introducing more self-compassion. 

The Physical Component

Allowing your muscles to soften, release the tension from your body.

How do you care for your body?


What are some ways in which you could release tension and stress in the physical sense, or what are some techniques that already work?


The Mental Component

Not trying to regulate your thoughts, allowing them to come and go.

How do you care for yourself mentally?

How could you allow thoughts to come and go with greater ease: less regulation,...

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Togetherness’ is both an objective experience and a psychological one.

"It’s important to remember that ‘togetherness’ is both an objective experience and a psychological one.” Gregory Walton

Making sense of our feelings when we are experiencing loneliness is not easy. Mindfulness about what our feelings of loneliness are rooted in shifts the way we make sense of things. We realize that opening our minds to a new perspective on what we are experiencing can qualitatively change our sense of self, others, and the social situations in which we find ourselves.

Physically together and psychologically together are distinct things. You can be with others physically yet feel lonely. You can also be physically separated yet still feel connected. Even if you are each alone, you both know that you are in each other’s thoughts. That sense of connection is something we have the ability to cultivate intentionally. 

If you are feeling lonely, you certainly are not alone in that experience. With the pandemic raging across our...

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What Divorce Looks Like To A Divorce Psychologist

I have been a divorce coach and family psychologist for over a decade.  Before that, I was a divorce lawyer. I have also gone through divorce myself.  As such, I have had a rather intimate view of what divorce entails. 

While I knew many of the effects and challenges of divorce and single parenting before I divorced, being divorced made these experiences real in a way that changed what they meant for me and brought to life many aspects that I could not have known as a divorce lawyer.

The divorce terrain is tumultuous. Knowledge of the divorce process is not enough to guide a client through divorce.  To guide someone through divorce, one must have empathy and creativity as well as being non-judgemental.  I prepare my clients both for what typically occurs and for some heart-pounding surprises. I also prepare them for the task of solving problems in new ways, leaving them with a valuable skill that they will utilize in many different contexts over their...

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Two Step

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