I believe in the power of our intentions.

The way we spend our days is the way we spend our lives.

If we wait until the end of our divorce or until everything finally settles down to be intentional, to build our life, to experience the life that we want to provide for our children, we are spending years of our life in despair. We're not going to get these years back on the other end of our days!

I'm a psychologist and former divorce lawyer.  As a divorce lawyer, I discovered that it is challenging for anybody to win in a divorce. I wasn't able to help women in a way that was sustainable. Even if you win your divorce case and your settlement is exactly what you wanted, that's not necessarily going to help you confidently move into your future. What we need for that are our inner resources.

My specialty is helping women through divorce. I am passionate about helping them to seize the opportunity that divorce provides. I myself have been divorced and I have learned so much along the w...

Approval seeking and people pleasing are wicked habits.

Inherently you have strength, intelligence, potential and talent. Add to that all that you have cultivated since your earliest days.

Life can be traumatic and wounding and may interfere with our natural ability to feel confident and capable. Sometimes it can feel like we have lost access to our own wisdom.  It can feel like a siren overpowering and drowning out  the quiet voice inside telling us the things we know to be true.

Underneath figuring out how to fit all of life into our new framework of days, our wisdom remains; no one can take it away.

Self-care is much more than a facial or a pedicure (though those are two really lovely examples!).  Self-care at it's truest is saying no to something requested or demanded or expected by others in order to say yes to our own emotional, physical and mental well being.

Self care sits opposite the defense mechanisms of people pleasing and approval seeking.

In self care. We take the t...

I want to see you well rested. I ask my clients, how are you sleeping? It's more than knowing about if they got eight hours of sleep. Their answer tells me they're making the time to get rest  that they're feeling less fearful, less confused.

It's a sign, they're gaining inner strength and clarity, that they have dreams that have become rooted in a bright future.

 Another question that is much more than a factual question that I ask my clients is what's your story. I believe in the power of narrative and that the stories we're telling ourselves have an extensive impact on our perspective and our lives.

It's so important that our stories reflect our values and our truth.  Get used to me asking, what's your story? Each module in break up to brilliance is meant as an access, not just to healing, but to growth. Break up to brilliance is more than healing wounds from the past, it's more than returning to a place.

 It isn't just about coping because coping is about maintaining. This is about tr...

During and right after divorce, feelings of loneliness and emptiness surround. The emptiness is the result of The Barely Noticeable Erosion of Sense of Self that occurs when we have been the codependent partner in a marriage.

Divorce tries to convince us that we are alone and trapped in a darkness that will never lift. We need to speak back, "You are wrong."

We can connect with ourselves and with others going through a similar experience and begin our healing journey.

Emerging from the marriage, we are left looking for the moment when all of this withering away of self started.  We sense that knowing when all of this began will allow us to travel back in time, recoup, and move forward again; this time whole. 

I do not believe pin pointing that exact moment is necessary.  It is this moment, the one we are in right now, that holds the answers we are looking for.

If we can stand tall, right in this moment, as much as we may wish to lie down and never get up, we can discove...

I will answer this question by posing 4 critical questions.

First question:

Will you give yourself permission to experience the opportunity for transformation divorce uniquely positions you for?

Cut to a typical afternoon at work.

New clients look at me as if I'm BONKERS when I share that divorce is an opportunity for transformation. 

"Are you kidding?" MaryAnn asked "This is the absolute worst time of my life!"

I understand.

Having been divorced, been a divorce attorney, and a psychologist who specializes in helping people get through divorce, I absolutely get how torturous and heartbreaking divorce can be.

Divorce affects every nook and cranny of our lives! 

Not just affects but scrambles or smashes it all into pieces.

That is precisely why I call divorce a "LIFE QUAKE" which might as well be an earthquake if you happen to be caught in one.

Let's Be Clear: I take heartbreak very seriously.

It's because I do that I know divorce can do more than torture; it can be a c...

Self Compassion Guide

What Does It Mean to Be Self Compassionate?

Through our thoughts and our behavior we treat ourselves with the same care and kindness as we would someone we love and care for. 

Self Compassion involves listening to our needs, rather than primarily focusing on what others want us to do or what the outside world dictates.

Goal for this Self-Compassion Exercise

Become aware of how you show yourself compassion and use this as a starting point for introducing more self-compassion. 

The Physical Component

Allowing your muscles to soften, release the tension from your body.

How do you care for your body?

What are some ways in which you could release tension and stress in the physical sense, or what are some techniques that already work?

The Mental Component

Not trying to regulate your thoughts, allowing them to come and go.

How do you care for yourself mentally?

How could you allow thoughts to come and go with greater ease: less regulation, less fighti...

"One of the hardest parts of healing from past relationships, is learning to trust ourselves again."

When we subconsciously play out patterns in adult relationships that we learned from growing up in our families of origin, subconsciously hoping to heal the pain from those early days, and these adult relationships have led to heartbreak and pain - it makes us afraid to trust ourselves again.

Do you remember the last time you felt certain that you were doing what was best for you?

After a painful break-up we have an enormous opportunity to dive deeper into connection with our authentic selves  and regain trust in ourselves. 

How can we learn to trust ourselves again?

Through forgiveness and self-compassion.

Remember that every path you’ve walked, every choice you’ve made has provided you lessons that you can now use here, now, today!

The amazing fact that you notice your doubt in yourself means you are in the process of waking up to the patterns that are no longer adaptive and no lo...