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A Wealth of Opportunites Will Be Yours, Provided You Adopt This One Critical Quality

Oh to have a wealth of opportunity! Each day to be invited by the universe to peruse all that is new. To be willing to fearlessly experiment with a new plot for success. To find problem-solving to be a form of play and the greatest challenges as puzzles waiting for us to figure them out. 

"I'd have to change my entire being!" Carl,  a former podiatrist my grandmother likes to chat with, told me over tea on her patio. Au Contraire Dear Carl; this quality allows you to celebrate yourself for being exactly who you are, even when things don't go as planned. Carl next confided in a deeper voice just above a whisper, "I'm probably too old."

Nope. This quality is accessible to all humans of every age. Simply be deliberate in adopting it and this utopia of accessible adventure can be yours, provided you adopt one critical quality.

It is the right mindset, a growth rather than a fixed mindset.

 Mindset deeply impacts our lives.

With a growth mindset you have confidence that...

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How do I help my 8 Year old having meltdowns before visits with his dad?

This may not be the kind of advice you want to hear, but I promise you, you and your children will recover from the trauma of divorce sooner if you can:

1. Validate their feelings.

2. Children perceive time differently from adults. Help Your Child Perceive the amount of time involved in terms that they can understand.

3. Schedule something positive to take place together after the visit.

4. Acknowledge the effort your child is making to do what he must do in this situation.

5. Make sure they know that they are not hurting you or betraying you by going to the visit and that you will be just fine.

6. Don't pry for information from them afterward.

7. When they do want to talk, be ready for them, listen attentively, and respond.

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6 Required Conversations with Family & Friends Meddling in Your Divorce

There are 6 things you must lay down the law on with family & friends offering to star in the Drama of Your Divorce

Here, I will respectfully call family and friends by the loving acronym "F&F."

Divorce is a difficult process for everyone involved, including F&F.

However, you can not imagine how swiftly they can:

Make divorce and divorce recovery more complicated,

Make  the process even more stressful and difficult than it already is (It is possible!) and

Increase the level of conflict.

 

If you’re dealing with divorce meddling F&F, insist that they refrain from these activities in order to avoid the disaster.

  1. Choosing

A common method of F&F meddling in a divorce is to choose sides. School them on the inevitable consequences.

F&F who choose sides in a divorce actually:

Make the process more difficult;

Prevent or delay conflict resolution, and

Keep the couple from reaching a settlement.

Insist that you will not condone the outward...

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5 Essential Clues on How to Become a better listener, deepen your connection, & build understanding.

Happy Spring!

I don't know about you but I am having an awfully difficult time sitting still inside while Spring is breaking open outside!  Finding work-life balance is a lifelong project.  Once in a while we need to be a bit out of balance with the heavy on the side of LIFE!

Wanted to share a quote I love because it evokes the curiosity necessary for the second tip in the Lost Art of Listening.

👉“Extraordinary things are always hiding in places people never think to look,” writes author Jodi Picoult. 🔎

 

Are you on Clubhouse? My friend and strategy guru, Solange Blanchard and I will be hosting two mindset sessions this week on clubhouse. Need an invite to get on Clubhouse? Reply to this and I will see if I can wrangle one up ❤!

 

Is there anything more gratifying than being listened to, understood, and seen for who you really are? I urge you to seek out that pleasure in abundance during the coming weeks. I hope you have allies who can...

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CoParenting Expert Answers How to Handle Narcissistic CoParents

 

Check out the live Q & A with Dr. Jodi Peary were she answers questions about narcissistic coparents and what to do when your coparent has their romantic interest move in with them.

 Enlightened CoParenting ™ provides a science backed road map to guide you in teaching and coparenting your child while promoting their confidence and self-esteem. Any parent can learn healthy coparenting if they have the right tools.

I want to be the first to know when the Enlightened CoParenting doors open again for enrollment!

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Inside Out Values Versus Outside In Values and Winning the Coparenting Match-up

 

Hey there. I'm excited to talk to you about inside-out and outside-in values and goals.

Our values and goals help anchor us into conflict free co-parenting and into being able to negotiate our parenting plan, as well as our differences. Co-parenting and figuring out coparenting in a way that's healthy for us and our kids is a huge goal. Obstacles are inevitable. One way to overcome obstacles is stay in touch with our values, particularly our intrinsic values. Pursuing internally rewarding, intrinsic goals, results in our ability to perform better and more persistently over time.

Our wellbeing is strongly influenced by the intrinsic values we have. Intrinsic values tap into our desire to grow and develop. Intrinsic values are freely chosen. We choose to act in line with the value rather than to act because another person expects us to. This choice gives the value so much power. Examples of intrinsic values include self-acceptance, authenticity and creativity.

Extrinsic values are...

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Help Your Child Adjust to Divorce

 

 

Helping Your Child Adjust to Divorce

 

There's no doubt that a divorce can be a strain on every member of the family. Sometimes it's tough to look on the bright side and see that it can be the best choice for future happiness.

 

Children are usually hit the hardest by the divorce. If they're young, they may not be able to fully grasp the subject. Also, no matter what age they are, their first instinct is generally to blame themselves. The helpful news is that you can do a lot to get your child through this tough time.

 

Consider some of the following tips for helping your child cope with divorce:

 

  1. Keep an open dialogue. Talk to your children about the divorce. Even if you have some pent up feelings about your ex, this doesn't mean that you should shy away from the topic with your child. The worst thing you can do is act like nothing is going on.
  • Talk to your child about their fears.
  • Allow them to cry if they need to do so.
  • Make sure that you...
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Seven Steps to Help Your Child Deal With Anxiety

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The world can be a scary place, and many children have good reason to worry. After parents separate, children may experience uncertainty, which is often at the root of anxiety, a normal response to change.

However, many children worry much more than is reasonable for the situation.

 Anxiety isn’t always a bad thing. A person should be worried if they’re in a dangerous situation, for example. Anxiety is protective, but too much or inappropriate anxiety isn’t healthy.

 

Use these strategies to help your child overcome their anxiety:

 

1. Be supportive and patient.

It can be frustrating when your child is constantly worried about things that seem meaningless or silly. However, the anxiety they feel is just as real to them as your anxieties are to you. You don’t get to choose the emotions or fears of other people.

Let your child know that you’re sensitive to their feelings and are always there to support them.

 

2.  Avoid giving...

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Tips and Strategies for Peaceful Parenting during COVID-19

Tips and Strategies for Peaceful Parenting during COVID-19

I want to share with you a few tips to manage the combined challenges of raising children, social distancing, and social isolation.   
Tips and Useful Strategies

Lighten up on demands.

Part of raising kids is to teach healthy habits and values.  In doing so, we make reasonable demands upon them. These habits and values are important but now may be a time to ease up a bit. I hear you if you are saying to yourself that if you do not stay strict, your child will become a slacker who sits around all day. Consider balancing that concern with the value or priority of managing isolation and maintaining harmony in circumstances that can be difficult for everyone staying at home.

Manage your own stress.

First, to maintain your own sanity. Also, stress of a parent often gets passed on to the child and makes everyone a bit more on edge and reactive than they otherwise might be. Carve out time for...

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Loneliness In Teens Increases Risk for Internet Addiction

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Loneliness has increased during the pandemic, and it's prevalent among adolescents. Also the risk of compulsive internet use amongst teens. Teens look for belonging from the internet.  With the pandemic they're spending longer periods of time online.

There's been research, the findings: loneliness is a risk factor for adolescents being drawn into compulsive internet use.

 Internet addiction eases up as they grow older. The concern for internet addiction relates to impacts it can have right now on teens.

 Compulsive internet use is linked to depression, takes up time and disrupts sleep patterns.  It's related to poor academic success.

 In Enlightened Coparenting emotion focused parenting can make a difference. Children of distant parents had a higher risk of drifting into detrimental internet use.

The positive: parenting can make a difference. Be curious about what's going on in your teens heart and mind.

Sign Up for My Enlightened CoParenting Weekly Letter...

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