Self Compassion Guide

What Does It Mean to Be Self Compassionate?

Through our thoughts and our behavior we treat ourselves with the same care and kindness as we would someone we love and care for. 

Self Compassion involves listening to our needs, rather than primarily focusing on what others want us to do or what the outside world dictates.

Goal for this Self-Compassion Exercise

Become aware of how you show yourself compassion and use this as a starting point for introducing more self-compassion. 

The Physical Component

Allowing your muscles to soften, release the tension from your body.

How do you care for your body?

What are some ways in which you could release tension and stress in the physical sense, or what are some techniques that already work?

The Mental Component

Not trying to regulate your thoughts, allowing them to come and go.

How do you care for yourself mentally?

How could you allow thoughts to come and go with greater ease: less regulation, less fighti...

Eliminate Relationship Patterns that Serve You No Longer

Learning to trust ourselves again after divorce.

"One of the hardest parts of healing from past relationships, is learning to trust ourselves again."

When we subconsciously play out patterns in adult relationships that we learned from growing up in our families of origin, subconsciously hoping to heal the pain from those early days, and these adult relationships have led to heartbreak and pain - it makes us afraid to trust ourselves again.

Do you remember the last time you felt certain that you were doing what was best for you?

After a painful break-up we have an enormous opportunity to dive deeper into connection with our authentic selves  and regain trust in ourselves. 

How can we learn to trust ourselves again?

Through forgiveness and self-compassion.

Remember that every path you’ve walked, every choice you’ve made has provided you lessons that you can now use here, now, today!

The amazing fact that you notice your doubt...

Ideas about Marriage were passed down to us from the generations of family before us. 

Some say divorce is a sign of failure, or being a quitter, a lack of commitment and courage.  

You know that is not true. 

Divorce does not mean failure. 

CoParenting does not mean an unhappy childhood. 

Enlightened CoParenting is a method that enables you and your children to emerge from divorce happy and whole.

Many different things have brought you to this crossroads  

A holistic understanding of our lives over time requires us to reflect upon the many, many factors that will shape our lives over time from birth to death.

When we have a holistic understanding of our lives over time we see that there have been many, many factors that shape the events of our lives over time from the day we are born until the day we die. 

I help couples with kids remain a family even if they are no longer husband and wife. I want to show you what is possible if you see divorce as a trans...

How to Promote Positive Self Esteem in Your Teens After Divorce 

The topic of how to promote positive self esteem in teens after parents divorce is one my clients bring up often.

The teen years are complex and nearly all parents have had some concern at one time or another about their teen’s well-being.  This concern increases when teens are living through a parent’s divorce. Parents worry they have added additional stressors to an already intense transition period making it harder for their teen to cope.

There has been quite a bit of research over the past decade into depression and suicidal behavior among adolescents. This research has uncovered evidence of a relationship between self-esteem, hopelessness, and loneliness and it's relationship with depression and suicide attempt behavior in teens.

These studies suggest that we pay careful attention to an adolescent's self-esteem and especially so when they are missing out on the emotional and social support offered by peer and/or...

Facing Discomfort is making room for growth.

The most potent changes we make will come from changes in our thinking.  

A change you cultivate within will make extraordinary, awesome, and welcome change in your life.  It will also influence positive change in the lives of others.

How many times have you been told:

PREPARE FOR THE WORST. 

As if preparing for the worst will keep the worst from happening. 

Our mental playlists are loaded with stories predicting worst case scenarios.  We believe that telling ourselves these stories will protect us. 

We must come to know that by visualizing and preparing for the worst, we predict and perpetuate the worst actually happening. We plant toxic seeds for failing to fulfill our dreams.  

Why do we plant the seeds of toxic thoughts again and again and make it harder for ourselves to accomplish our goals?  

Each person's playlist is unique, as they are, their fears are in some ways unique and they are tied to unique patt...

COPARENTING TECHNIQUES: SHOWING  AFFECTION  & MAINTAINING CONNECTION WITH YOUR Toddler

Enlightened CoParenting™ emphasizes emotional connection with your child, regardless of whether or not they are with you or their coparent. No need to wait for your parenting time or a special occasion to show affection to your toddler. Maintaining that heart to heart connection with them, helps both of you through periods of separation from each other. 

This checklist offers a way to offer loving actions to your child each day, electronically or by phone when you are apart and physically when you are together.

I am joined by other psychologists and specifically developmental psychologists in suggesting these heart centered techniques.

1. Perform a simple, personalized ritual at the beginning and end of parenting times. For example: morning hug after waking up, daddy/mommy dance when child returns from time with other parent, or sing song you made up together at each bath time etc.

2. Engage in mindful...

Clear Your Mind of Toxic Thinking Once and For All

It's the New Year.  Many of the changes in 2021 will come from external factors, i.e. a vaccine, weather conditions, the economy etc.. However, the most potent changes in your life can arise solely from changes in your thinking.  So amazing right?  Something you can work with totally on your own and make extraordinary change in your life and also influence positive change in the lives of others.

We are socialized to prepare for the worst and to believe that our preparation will insure the worst will not happen.  But visualizing and preparing for the worst without opening our minds to our talents and possibilities for growth nearly predicts the worst actually happening.

Many of us go through life playing top hits from a mental playlist loaded with stories that purport to predict a future full of worst case scenarios. These stories, that we mistakenly believe might protect us, are actually the toxic seeds for failing to fulfill our dr...